What's Next for the Avengers?

Well now that The Avengers has finally been released world wide, the first phase of Marvel's film universe is finished. This huge project teased since 2008 has finally come to a close, so whats next? Well lets look more into this, oh beware of full spoilers for the established movies, and note this is all pure speculation based on facts and Marvel Comics knowledge.

So lets start off with whats in the plans now. Iron Man 3 and Thor 2 are both scheduled for next year, with Captain America 2 in April 2014. Marvel has already announced that it would like to focus more on its magic and cosmic characters next, with names like Dr. Strange, Inhumans, Nova, and Ant Man being hinted at. But in reality, what evidence can we connect to the future, and where can Marvel go with its newly established universe.

Clearly, its next big thing is to keep all the movies somehow connected, so somehow the new films will need to connect to the previous films or somehow have a guest appearance from an established character. Let's start with Dr. Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme himself. Out of all the films mentioned this film is the one most likely to happen. Dr. Strange is an always present character in the Marvel Universe, who helps almost all characters, and battles enemies larger than life. But all of his powers comes from his artifact, The Eye of Agamotto, which can be seen briefly in Odin's vault in Thor. Already connected, so now lets move onto Thor himself.

Thor is tricky because his main villain has now been two movies, and while Loki is set to return don't expect him to be the main antagonist. Instead, Thor 2 will probably expand his side-cast introducing Beta Ray Bill, an alien who has all the powers of Thor. They will probably go through the standard story of "we fight at first until we unite against a common foe," and chances are that foe will be Loki, but that isn't the point. If Beta Ray Bill is introduced then Marvel has opened an all new realm: The Cosmic Universe.

So I'm just going to say it now, Thanos is the big reveal at the end of The Avengers. He's the big bad behind everything. In a way, his existence in the Marvel Universe has already established the Cosmic Universe, but Marvel is going to need to do more if they hope to use Thanos. Now this is where they could bring in The Guardians of the Galaxy, or more realistically introduce Nova. Guardians of the Galaxy is basically the space Avengers, so chances are this film would be a little too much (Beta Ray Bill is on this team btw). Nova on the other hand could work. We know the other realms exist out there, so why not use them? Nova could be a the perfect introduction to the Cosmic Universe, and hell, Thanos could be his villain. But more on him later.

Now Captain America 2 and Iron Man 3. Captain America 2 is already set to take place in present day, and will probably be the closest we get to an actual SHIELD movie, with Black Widow, Hawkeye, Maria Hill, and probably newcomer Falcon all set to make appearances. Iron Man 3 on the other hand has already been set in the Extremis storyline. Given the nature of this storyline, fellow scientist and Avenger Bruce Banner could easily make an appearance (Mark Ruffalo has signed for six more movies, not including a Hulk film,) alongside Hank Pym, one of the most important Avenger characters. Not only that, but what if the Extremis blueprints were used to create a certain insane android character thanks to Mr. Pym? The ideas possible.

Ok, well lets discuss Thanos. Most likely he will be the villain in Avengers 2, and that means there is only one story they can do: The Infinity Gauntlet. A cosmic weapon that when infused with the six Soul Gems allows the wielder to bend reality to their very whim. The six gems each imbed the wielder with different powers: Soul (Green), Power (Red), Time (Orange), Space (Purple), Mind (Blue), and Reality (Yellow). So in the next few movies if you start seeing colored stones given unknown importance, just remember Thanos. Oh this is just a theory, but Loki's staff did have a blue stone that allowed him to mind-control people... just saying.

Very little of what I said is fact, but it is just pure speculation based on all the other movies and general comic knowledge. Everything I said could be completely wrong, but whatever happens next you can bet will be huge.

The Phantom Menace: A Look Back

It could be safe to say that back in 1977 when the original Star Wars film premiered with it came the ideology of fanboyism. If thats true, then in 1999 when The Phantom Menace (currently being re-released into theaters with a 3D upgrade) hit theaters that we as a society hit a fanboy renaissance; to where fanboys were now the angriest movie goers in existence. And while a decade ago I was a simple, naive child probably to young to realize just how people truly felt about The Phantom Menace; I've now had a nice long 13 year period to listen to the complaints. But now with the benefit of some movie-making knowledge and contemplation I've reached the conclusion that Im sick of it. Sick of the fanboys, sick of the inane complaints, and sick of the painting of George Lucas as some awful person to be burned at the cross. And most of all, Im REALLY sick of people complaining about how a movie that is at worst a 2/5 to be the worst thing to ever happen to them. Because truth be told, The Phantom Menace is not the worst Star Wars movie.

Wait, stop. I know someone out there will read this a think their smart by posting that stupid Plinkitt review somewhere so let me save you the trouble. Here http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/star-wars-episode-1-the-phantom-menace/ if you have an hour to spare sure watch it, but it does not vindicate anything. He raises some interesting points, but in the end does not really prove the film is as bad as the fanboys make it to be.

But lets be clear here: I do not think The Phantom Menace is a good movie. Its underwhelming, terrible written, has a completely wooden child lead, the cgi hasn't aged that well, and it has major pacing problems. When people say this movie isn't good I don't argue against that. What I argue against is those people that say this movie has nothing good to it. When in reality it has some great looking locations, a pretty strong performance in Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, the best fight scene in the entire series, and some of composer John William's best work in his entire career.

When you take all those into account your left with a pretty average film that could use some major script work. Or better yet work on its sequels instead. Most of the problems in The Phantom Menace are because most of its issues are completely irrelevent, and removable. Would anyone complain about Midiclorians if they were ever mentioned again? Would pod-racing be so hated if it was at least mentioned again? The answer is no. Yes you heard me, The Phantom Menace could be a better movie if its sequels were better films also. Especially Attack of the Clones.

Many people attack George Lucas for Phantom Menace, but really the real crime is Attack of the Clones. Seriously that movie is just boring. The worst part of it all is that he wrote it to appease the fans, not for the story itself. Fans hated Jar-Jar so he gave him a smaller role. Fans wanted classic characters so hey, lets add baby Boba-Fett. Yoda is always mentioned in the original trilogy as a great teacher, so lets make him fight here.  Taken for its merits The Phantom Menace is just below average, and its certainly better then most action movies of today. But the problem it receives so much hate is in the title: its a Star Wars movie.

The Phantom Menace came out in 1999, so it was almost 20 years since a official movie was released. Fanboys were ecstatic and for good reason. When fans finally got what they wanted it didn't live up to their expectations, in what I would like to call Dark Knight Syndrome (seriously in a year from now everyone will realize Dark Knight Rises has no chance). But Phantom Menace isn't to blame for its fan-base. People have waited 20 years for this, and those people were expecting a movie that reminds them of their childhood when the original trilogy came out. That will never happen. This is why people hate this movie so much, because of 20 years of collective disappointment. Seriously fanboys just need to stop. I love Transformers, but that doesn't stop me from saying the newer Michael Bay movies are terrible piles of shit.

But what does hating on this movie do for people? I mean you got three more movies, two television shows, and a ton of spin-offs. This very movie was remade in 3D so clearly hating on this movie is not going to do anything to LucasFilm. Your not going to get an apology letter from George Lucas; so why don't you just stop it, grow up and realize that at the end of the day movies can be disappointing.

Oh, and while Im on the Star Wars topic yes Greedo shot first. Big deal. This is George's franchise and he has the right to do what he feels fit and his explanation is sound. Han is not a blood-thirsty badass that you want him to be, he is a charming character. It was the charm that makes you care for him. He was never some badass murderer. Deal with it.

Top Ten Movies of 2011

Well after the horrible memories that the last entry brought back I figured its time to counter-act the a top 10 list. There should be more good in the world then bad... but I'll admit it was pretty hard coming up with a list of 10. Anyway lets stop stalling this already long entry, lets get started.

10) In Time- Was there a more timely movie then this in 2011? With the Occupy movements happening all throughout America this movie just shined through its ingenious plot. Sure, the movie wasn't perfect and  it ran a little to long for my taste, but it was gifted with a strong cast (including Justin Timberlake, who we all need to accept is a competent actor).  In the film we see a future world where Time is now the currency, and if you don't have time well, your just not important. You basically are waiting for the 1% to be mentioned, but nothing of that comes through. Instead we get a well made, tense, drama about the needs of the many out weighing the needs of the few.

9) Hanna- On the surface Hanna might just seem like a Bourne Identity rip-off with a female lead, and yes it is a rip-off with an excellent female lead. It's once you start peeling the layers of the character Hanna that you see the brilliance behind this film. Yes the action is fun, fast, and any other f-adjective you can think of; but it is when we see Hanna start discovering the world around her that we see what director Joe Wright set out to do. This is a visual feast, as we watch the titular character learn about the world as she discovers things like music, electricity, and cars. This gives us a strong connection with Hanna, and even though the movie really falls apart in the end, its the ride of the characters that draws us in.

8) Rise of the Planet of the Apes- Now I could go on like every critic out there and praise Andy Serkis' motion capturing performance, but honestly I just like this movie because its fun. Not everyone is good in their roles, and the films kinda on the long side, but in all honesty I would gladly pay more then $10 to watch a gorilla fight a horse. Luckily I got that and a great origin story for Caeser (played masterfully by Andy Serkis... I couldn't help but mention it!).

7) Winnie the Pooh- Well we are a good bit into the list so lets lighten things up a bit. Winnie the Pooh it a homage to the olden Disney movies. This is more of a movie for those who grew up with the older, hand drawn animated Disney movies of the 90's, and buy does it deliver. Pooh, Tigger, Christopher Robin, and the rest of the gang are back after a long hiatus and it just oozes with charm. Honestly this movie is just a delight and the only reason it doesn't rank higher on this list is because of its incredibly short run time of 63 minutes.

6) Limitless- Its not hard to find a movie that uses drugs as a major plot point, but it is hard to find one that doesn't care about the whole "Drugs are Bad!" message. Limitless throws all of that out the window as we follow Bradley Cooper's character Eddie as he finds, uses, and becomes addicted to a mysterious super drug. This drug awakens his full potential and allows him to reach limits that... well, he basically becomes limitless! What this movie does right is it tells a great job of avoiding cliches that rid similar movies. We are never given the "Drugs are Bad" impression, but instead we are never really forced to like Eddie as a character. We know he's using, and we see his mistakes but never feel pity for him. This alongside some excellent use of music and lighting make this just a great experience.

5) Source Code- Here's a little warning about this movie: watch it once, enjoy it and then never watch it again. This is a great movie, an excellent movie even, but what makes it so is the story. The characters are interesting but not very well acted. Everything about the movie is just safe movie making; that is except for the story. It starts off fairly normal, but there is a plot twist that changes everything we have known so far. It is the way the twist is executed that makes this such a great film. Maybe Im over hyping this film, but I am a huge sucker for this kind of film and that is why it is deserving of this spot.

4) Rango- Rango is an iguana... not the normal, cutesy protagonist that most animated films have, and thats why I love this film. Its weird. Nothing is cute about this film and it deals with some real world situations, such as corrupt politics and economic instability. But possibly my favorite part about the film is the character of Rango. He is an iguana who is also an actor. This allows him to constantly change his skin, or role in the world, but no matter what he is still a coward. The constant physical changes that occur to him prevent us from never truly getting a sense of who Rango is, in fact we never even learn his real name. I really can't say if this beautiful connection between the physical and mental character was intended, but whatever it works.

3) X-Men First Class- This movie gets it. It understands its roots are comic books where characters who shot lasers out of their eyes and where bright colored jump suits. No comic book film has embraced this as much as First Class, or what it really should be called: X-Men Origins Magneto. Indeed it never has been so good to feel for the devil. Magneto simply owns this movie. The mixture of comic book action, mixed with James Bond style story, all mixed up in an amazing Cold War era setting blends amazingly to create the perfect blend of action, narrative, comedy, and it actually ret-cons two really horrible movies in the process! This movie understands what it means to be a summer movie, and actually is my favorite summer movie this year. Mutant and Proud, and they have every reason to be.

2) The Muppets- If you walk out of this film not happy or smiling your a bad person. This may not be my favorite movie of the year, but it is the one I had the funnest time seeing. It was great seeing Kermit, Gonzo, Miss Piggy, and the gang reunite to put together one last show. The songs were great, the story was tear jerking, and you even have some mildly fabulous human characters also. This isn't a movie for kids as it is more for the fans. Writer Jason Segal is a long time Muppet fan and it shows with the delicacy he puts into keeping each character the same. He understands what makes these characters resonate with fans, and makes sure that shines. Muppets was my most anticipated movie of the year, but not my favorite. That award goes too...

1) 50/50- Can anyone argue against the fact that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is one of, if not the most talented actors of our time? Here he plays Adam, a young man who works as a radio narrator who discovery's he has a serious tumor on his spine. What follows is a tale of life, death, depression, love, and family all neatly wrapped in a 2 hour gift. We learn to feel for these characters as they all play their own part in Adam's care. But what really makes this movie special is that it awakens us to the reality of death and just how important life is when you have a chance of losing it. When we see Adam break down you want to break down. This isn't a movie about cancer, it is a movie about death and how we really are all afraid of it. Listen movies still have a long way to go before being perfect, but we need excellent movies like 50/50 to make us realize that yes movies can be emotional and thought provoking. We need more movies like this, because simply put 50/50 is the best film of 2011.

Worst 5 Films of 2011

Hello everybody to 2012, and what a better way then to welcome the New Year then look back at the old. So without further adieu here are my least favorite films of 2011.

5) Your Highness- Out of all the movie genre's comedies only have one job to do: make us laugh. So why does this movie not understand that very basic premise? Probably because like the genre it inhibits this movie has only one joke; what if potheads were in a fantasy world. Well it turns out that it wouldn't be funny. At all. One could say that it is fatigue of director David Gordon Green's style, or possibly Danny McBride and James Franco half-assing their parts. I would simply blame it on this: the main marketing tool behind this movie was Natalie Portman's ass. What kind of movie does that?

4) Sucker Punch- Out of every movie on the list I have t say this is the one I enjoyed the most. It has such a cool premise and comes from one Zack Snyder, a director who has proven himself a talented man, but nothing about it works. The movie is highly stylized, and I understand why some might like it, but its boring. The film revolves around dreamscape battlefields in which five girls try to escape an insane asylum through, but because these dreamscapes the movie lacks tension. This movie is pretty but lacking, boring, and overall just a disappointment. Nothing about it works which is so upsetting.

3) The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 1- Listen, Im a guy so naturally i'm suppose to hate this series, but I don't. I respect and understand the point of this series, but that doesn't excuse this from being a horrible film. Literally nothing, and I mean nothing happens! She gets knocked up, gets knocked down, and then a wolf imprints on a new born baby. Plus this movie has the job of transitioning from an anti-sex position, to a pro-life stance. This movie is painful to watch, and painful to think about.

2) I Am Number Four- I actually forgot this movie existed, that how bad it was. Sci-fi is a hard genre to nail, but I don't think there is any sort of real need for this film to exist. Its brutally unoriginal and entirely predictable. It star's Alex Pettyfer (strike one) as the titular Number Four a survivor of an alien race (strike two) who flees too Earth with his mentor Henri as they are being hunted by the Mog. What follows is Four's journey into high school and desperate attempt to fit in by trying to date the football player's girlfriend and befriending the one kid who knows aliens exist (strike three!) All of this wouldn't matter if it was competent or actually resembled some sort of entertainment but alas it was not to be. Oh also it ends with a possibility for a sequel..... fuck that.

1) Bad Teacher- The whole premise of this movie is Cameron Diaz as a "bad teacher" extorting her kids so she can get a boob job so she could impress Justin Timberlake. Like Your Highness this is a comedy that is not only funny, but its almost deplorable. All of the acting is terrible, especially Timberlake. None of the characters are likable, not even Jason Segel's character who has at least some charm. Cameron Diaz's character is a gold-digger, a liar, and an extortionist. This movie hurt to watch, it isn't bad, it isn't terrible, its an monstrosity. You know how movie theater's have those little walls to protect you from falling of the higher seats? Well while watching this movie I was more interested it jumping off of that. I was more interested in hurting myself then watching this film. Bad Teacher is the worst film I have seen in the past year, and defiantly one of the worst films I have ever seen. Congratulations you miserable piece of trash.

Yearly Awards Part One

Well we have officially hit December which means it is time to start considering awards for the year in film. Many will say that December is just starting and has many films to offer... but I am done for the year. 2011 was an terrible year for movies in hindsight. So instead I have decided to spread the awards process throughout the entire month beginning now. So without further a due:

Worst Titled Film of 2011-Rise of the Planet of the Apes
While this is a pretty awesome film with some amazing tech and pedigree behind it, whoever named the film obviously needs to learn a few things. For starters a films title should somehow reflect what happens in the film, and yes, this is a reboot of the Planet of the Apes series it does very little rising. The movie revolves around Ceaser and thats it. What the film should of done is followed the strategy of all other major reboots and simply gone with The Planet of the Apes; this way you feed to a new audience while the older fans will still understand. But instead it just feels redundant and a chore to say.

Runner-Up: SuckerPunch

Best Kill- Sebastian Shaw (X-Men First Class)
Watching Kevin Bacon prance around as the charming and dangerous Sebastian Shaw was a treat, but the real juice was watching his bookend death. His first scene we see him torture young Eric into moving a coin, and when he fails he kills Eric's mother. So the delicious irony of watching a full grown Eric move the same exact coin through an imprisoned Shaw's brain was to good to be true. Not only was this death brutal, and oddly satisfying but it had ripples that would effect the entire X-Men franchise from here on out. This is how you build a villain; have him kill the old, existing one.

Runner-Up: In Time (Everyone)

Movie That should Get a Sequel that Probably Won't Get One- 50/50
Just give me a second to explain this. At the end of this film (SPOILERS) the main character Adam undergoes surgery and gets the tumor removed from his spine. (END SPOILERS) But in reality Cancer can come back at any time. So how crazy would it be if the delved into that premise and gave us 50/50: Cancer Strikes Back? I don't know about any of you guys but I would have no problem watching that film.

Runner-Up: Source Code

Best Ending- The Adjustment Bureau
Now I can admit this movie is pretty average and overall forgettable, but I do remember the ending and just how crazy it was. The movie is a Sci-Fi film about two lover who's lives constantly intertwine, but a secret organization tries to keep them separate in order to "stick to the plan". Towards the end of the film the two do everything in their power, and are willing to move the heavens themselves in order to have their happily ever after. At the end we learn the organization is literally angels who are enacting god's plan for everyone, but god was so moved by their determination that he gives up on their plans and lets them go. They beat god! How can anyone not love such an absurdly crazy, and possibly controversial ending such as that? I know its certainly the thing I remember best about the film.

Runner-Up: X-Men First Class

Well that is it for this week. Expect another update around the same time next week with more categories and picks, and my eventual movie of the year nomination.

The Muppets Review

"It's time to play the music, It's time to light the lights, It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight."

And with those three lines the long time coming return of the Muppets finally happens, and it may be the single most enjoyable time you could have in a theater this year. Not only is the Muppets a well-crafted, hilarious romp for all ages, but it is also a movie with a ton of heart. It is not the best film of the year but it may as well be the most enjoyable.

After twelve long years the Muppets have disbanded due to unspecified reason. The story starts with Gary (played by Jason Segel) and his Muppet brother Walter (voiced by Peter Linz) who on a trip to Hollywood end up uncovering a plot to destroy the famous Muppets Theater. Gary, Walter, and Mary (Amy Adams) have only two weeks to reunite the Muppets and put on a show to raise money and save the Muppets. What follows suite is a hilarious montage, absolutely amazing musical numbers, and a combination of sharply written Meta like dialogue alongside some heartwarming moments. This is more a movie for anyone already familiar with the Muppets rather then children. Sure, they will find plenty to love, but the subtly moments that truly make this movie shine. I find it hard for anyone familiar with the characters not to get a little misty eyed during the song "Pictures in my Head", or to wonder exactly what happened to Miss Piggy and Kermit. These may be Muppets but they live normal human lives and suffer from human conditions also.

Every character in this movie has at least one moment to shine, whether it is in song or in montage every character is represented well. This is especially true for the human characters that are completely believable as they are merely acting with simple puppets. But the movie is well aware anyone who comes to this movie is there for Muppets and does not spend a lot of time on the humans. The movie starts to drag in the second act as Mary and Gary start to take centerfold (and a sub-plot seems to arise between Miss Piggy and Mary that is never mentioned), but it all wraps up quickly for the spectacular third act. There are tons of cameos ranging from Neil Patrick Harris, Ken Jeong, and Whoopi Goldberg, but the best cameo I will not spoil (just look out for the mirror man). All of them are fine but do not really do anything. They're just kind of there. 

Those minor grips are nothing though compared to what the movie succeeds in. The soundtrack is probably the highlight of the movie with Disney finally reaching the level of excellence they have yet to reach in the 21st century. The jokes are funny and campy like they should be, the movie is colorful and fun, and it all wraps up exactly like you would imagine it. This is a movie that does not break down any walls in terms of entertainment it just camps next to them. For a Muppets movie it hits all the right notes and does exactly what it needs to do: introduce the Muppets to a new generation of children and hit the right points to invoke a sense of nostalgia for those already familiar with the source material. Its not the best movie of the year, but I'll be damned if it is not the most enjoyable time you will have at a theater. You will be grinning the entire time, guaranteed. 

Smurf You!

Before I begin here I would just like to send out a disclaimer. The following article is going to include some harsh language; so if you never heard or seen the word fuck before... well you have now.


Are children movie's really aimed at children? Sure the whimsical humor and bright-colored animation are defiantly a draw, and in a way its not the actual movie that is the problem. A good kids movie has a little bit for everyone; of course the kids have plenty to enjoy but the parents/adults should also find some entertainment value. Mature themes and tones are common in kids movies. Last year's Toy Story 3 is arguably the pinnacle of animated mature movies, and it did it through its strong narrative and characters. A lot of these themes are to deep and mature for kids to understand. This maturity causes a huge audience of teenagers and full grown adults to flock to the theaters. If an animated movie wishes to draw in an adult audience this is how it should go about it. Sadly though certain modern day movies believe they can draw in more adult audience through other means.


Advertising is a tricky business, especially when it comes to movies. The creation of tag lines, posters, flyers, and even TV spots are all a tricky thing to create. A common method advertiser use is word play, or taking a pop-culture reference and slightly altering it. Many children movies decide to use their advertising to try and be "mature" or "edgy" to draw in the older crowd. This is not mature it is immature. It is obvious that this advertisement is not aimed at the kids but for the adults, and for that it raises the question: Do parents really want to bring their kids to a movie when the ad's tell them to go fuck themselves?


Three examples come to mind when I think of that question: Shrek Forever After, The Smurfs, and Alvin and the Chipmunks the Third. Each on of these movies uses word play to their advantage to try to drag more people to see it. Below are poster's for each movie I mentioned above to show off what I have been talking about.

Why am I being told to fuck myself by chipmunks? Why are the Smurfs asking where the hell are they? Does Rumpelstiltskin really not know where his bitches are at? Do parents really want their children to see movies with such immaturity and desperation to attract an audience? There is no problem with a children's movie to have something for everyone; in fact I encourage it. But that something should be in substance not advertisement. What these movies are doing (or did in the case of Shrek) is disgusting. I actually can not even tell who these ad's are intended for. If you want to see a movie with your kids that has something for you as well take them to see Winnie the Pooh, or hell show them Toy Story 3 again.